Little Guy: No, I don't need to go wee-wee. I just went wee-wee right here, in this bed.
Buddy Boy: {standing on the bed, pulling down his pants} Beeeeeeeeeeee?
Me: Look over there at those fields. You see those little balls of white? That's how you know they're growing cotton.
Little Guy: Oh, yes! And look at that field. It's all red and brown, so I know that means them's growing hotdogs.
Baby Girl: Hey.
Everyone else: Oh! Well, hey, Baby Girl!
Little Guy: When you're in Heaven will you be waiting for me?
Me: Yes, baby, I'll be waiting for you.
Little Guy: Can you wait up in front of all the people, right by the fence, so I can find you?
Me: I got this strange email confirming private swim lessons for Buddy Boy on every Saturday in December, but I didn't register him for any swim lessons. Did you?
The Mister: No, I didn't register him for swim lessons...I guess you couldn't make that first one, but you'd be home for the rest of them.
Me: {???} But we didn't register for these. And it says our balance is $386.
The Mister: Well, we've talked before about getting him swim lessons. But $386 does seem a little high and you couldn't make that first one anyway.
Me: {???????}
Taxi Driver: Are you traveling without luggage?
Mama: {after carrying an electronic snow globe in her purse all the way from Alabama to DC, the button of which periodically got smushed, making her purse into a musical, snow-throwin' bag o' cheer} Just me and my snow globe.
Taxi Driver: {confused look}
Baby Girl: {spit bubbles} {lots and lots of spit bubbles}
Mama: {coming down the Chick-Fil-A two-story tube slide, after a fruitless search for my niece's lacy socks} {BIG YELP}
Little Girl Who Had Just Slammed Into Her From Behind: Are you excited?!
Mama: No, I'm not excited. I just want to get down this thing. {BIG YELP, as another child piles onto the slide train} Y'all stop coming down this slide!
Little Guy: {handing me a piece of paper with letters scratched out by an older cousin} Mommy, what does this say?
Me: TO...OTHE...I'm not sure. TO OTHERS?
Little Guy: {the next day} TOOT HEAD! It said TOOT HEAD! They told me!
DC Chipotle Burrito Artist: Lettuce and tomatoes?
Mama: Oh, yes, please.
DC Chipotle Burrito Artist: {piles up the lettuce}
Mama: Oh, that's GAH-OR-GEOUS.
Man In Line: Where are you from, like, Alabama or something?
Little Guy: {pulling paper towels from the dispenser in the bathroom at Mount Vernon} We each need two. One to dry our hands off with, and one for in case we cry.
Buddy Boy: {nodding adamantly and sticking two fingers out} Two!
5 comments:
OMG OMG I am just cackling with laughter. Best post ever. OMG I love these kids.
It was all wonderful, even the Chick Fil A slide!
I laughed and laughed picturing your Mama in Chipotle referring to the gorgeous burrito!
LOVE!!! :)
OH this is all so funny!!! I read a few aloud to The Engineer and we laughed out loud - especially about the swim lessons. Oh goodness. That is too funny.
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