Friday, September 3, 2010

We Have Left the Building

We three stay-at-home souls were climbing the apartment walls yesterday afternoon.  And for the toddler member of our group, I mean that literally.  Quite literally.

It was so time for a walk.  Like, past time for a walk.

But, you see, there are two of them.  And one of me.  And the grandmothers and grandfathers and aunts and cousins and such have all cleared out.  So, we've been inside the building for days.  Cowering in fear.  Of the traffic, the bustling sidewalks, the achy incision, the heat, the logistics...you get the idea.

But it was time.

It takes three preparatory diaper changes (JF, A, then JF again) and the locating of two pairs of shoes and one pair of booties.  I wear the Moby wrap with one tiny baby tucked inside and his head supported with my right hand.  Andrew wears the backpack tether, with the strap wrapped thrice around my wrist and his chubby little hand firmly grasped in my left hand.  We carry only keys and go just a few blocks.

We reach our usual afternoon play place, only to find that military marches are being blared over loudspeakers in preparation for a Labor Day program.  Thus, Andrew will do nothing but cling to my leg and quiver.  We turn back to meander through the farmer's market.  We make it through, admiring watermelons and completely avoiding the evil eye of the farmer lady who worries that the little guy will squeeze her tomatoes.  (He only did that once, I tell ya!)

Just out of the farmer's market, I notice a suspicious substance at the crook of Andrew's arm.  Upon confirming that it has indeed been left there by a bird and having nothing with me but keys, I wipe it off with my finger.  (The things we mothers are called to do!)  But now I've got a nastified finger, no free hand, and two little ones still to shepherd home.  I decide I'll just have to scrape my finger off on the window ledge of the restaurant in front of us.  I am sweaty and bedraggled, have one baby hanging from my chest and another clenched between my knees so he won't run off and am playing a veritable game of hot potato with these droppings. 

Naturally, it is at this moment that I first notice the restaurant patron seated just inside that window who is watching this production with great interest.  And perhaps a bit of disgust.  Our apologies, ma'am, and bon appetit!

But we made it home, safe and sound.  We got a dose of sunshine and a stretch of the legs.  And it can now be said that we have left the building.

However, I think we'll stay in today.

12 comments:

Aunt Cacky said...

I'm in tears over this one! The Bon Appetit comment is fabulous!

Laura said...

haha! well written. how long do these outings take? i bet i can duck out of the office for a bit to either hold a baby or chase after andrew while you watch the other one! that sounds like a nice afternoon break.

Sarah Rose said...

It will get easier! Once you've healed more fully, you'll master the baby-in-Moby+toddler hold. Kudos for your bravery!

Wanting What I Have said...

oh hooray for you!!! that takes such guts and YOU DID IT!!!! And if that is the ONLY thing you did yesterday, you should be QUITE PROUD!!! :)

So sorry about the bird droppings...and too funny about the lady dining. You have such a flare to your writing!

Sara said...

You are a brave women! Congrats on the successful (meaning coming back in one piece) trip outside!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!

Julie said...

I just called Dave over and told him to read this if he wants a good laugh!
p.s. He was thrilled that Andrew was asking for Ma and Pa!

Aunt Betty said...

You are such a clever girl! I loved the post and I can see why the camera did not make it on this outing!

Jana said...

Oh, how I sympathize with you!! 2 kids under 14 months was a sight to see as well!! Love the post---You really should write books!! (you know, in your off time! Ha!)

BettieBoyd said...

Like Cacky, Daddy and I are in tears (some of laughter) over this one! Keep your sweet chin up.

Malacy said...

It is only funny looking back, isn't it? They are worth every minute of it, though.

Morris Middleton said...

I'm with Cacky and your folks. Loving the bon appetit, ma'am comment! The hot potato shuffling is great imagery. Who hasn't needed to scrape life off one's finger from time to time? (But I'd have used my pants.) And clasping boys with one's knees is good physical therapy! Loving your stories, and still admiring your writing talent, your zest for mothering, and your heart as demonstrated by your great affection for your children. Blessings to all.